Mega Python Vs. Gateroid

"Miami Monster Movie: SyFy Channel’s “Mega Python Vs. Gateroid” Shows Area Potential For Blockbuster Gold" by v. johns

While national politics are of some concern, I prefer to spend my time on this blog promoting and explaining the opportunities and challenges of the Southeast Florida region. As powerful and influential as our area seems to be sometimes, its poor promotion of itself and its overall quality of life, as it approaches build-out, causes it to always play second fiddle to the usual, more organized, super-regional heavyweights and mainstays of New York, Los Angeles, Dallas-Ft. Worth and Houston.

Still, our incompleteness, if you will, presents opportunities for growth in areas, relatively new to our region, that have long established histories in other more centralized regions. In addition to biotechnology, information technology, green industry and mass transportation, Florida’s budding film and entertainment industry may show more promise, and more potential for a higher return on investment, than any of these other industries, at this time. With special effects wizards Digital Domain establishing a Florida corollary to its California headquarters, right here on the Treasure Coast, our work history and credibility as real players in the entertainment industry can only get better.

A few weeks ago, after watching New York-based Centropolis Entertainment’s horrible remake of “Godzilla,” on FX, I wondered, as I always do, why filmmakers have never thought of making a Hollywood-level monster movie based in the Miami area. I also wondered how the same people who made “Independence Day” could have made that awful “monstrosity?” And while it can be said that SyFy’s “Mega  Python Vs. Gateroid” is perhaps just as horrible, “MP vs. G” is  not only made for TV, which is somewhat more excusable, it’s more fun to watch and caricatures the quirky nature of Florida’s people and life, in a way that “Godzilla” fails to do for New York. With the premiere airing, this past Saturday, hosted by it’s two main stars, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, of 1990’s music fame, the movie not only pits the proponents of two animal species against each other, it pits the two animals species themselves (foreign pythons and Florida alligators) against each other for Everglades food-chain dominance (an actual issue here in our area). And upon foolish human interference with their biology, these rabid reptiles evolve rapidly into oversized monsters and begin to run amok, beyond their swampy Everglades setting, slithering and stomping across major highways and threatening to pummel Southeast Florida’s flagship city, Miami.

Wow! Now, imagine watching what I’ve just told you in a movie theater, with better quality of effects and a better storyline, and recognizing the particular portion of I-95 that the monsters just destroying! Awesome! Right?

While I enjoy TV crime dramas like “CSI: Miami” and “The Glades” and always look forward to theatrical action movies like “Bad Boys” and “The Fast and the Furious 2,” not to mention TV movies like “Spring Break Shark Attack” and “Mega Piranha,” I’d like to see Southeast Florida cities and towns, in a big way, fight off mega monsters, zombie swarms and alien invasions for a change. I have yet to see South Floridians portrayed on the big screen battling major other-worldly threats and dealing with extinction-level events on a massive scale. Is there not a niche for us in this market?

For anyone wishing to capitalize upon such ventures, say Will Smith, who in my opinion help put Miami firmly and permanently on the map, the key is paying attention to how Floridians and Southeast Florida residents of all shapes, sizes, creeds and colors go about their normal daily lives which can, at times, appear to be significantly different than that of the rest of the nation, but is what makes us who we are. Pay attention to common regional dialogue such as “down in Lauderdale,” “up in Vero,” “305,” “561,” “772,” or “off I-95,” and to landmarks, transit modes and thoroughfares such as “A1A,” “Federal Highway,” “Tri-Rail,” “Beeline Highway,” “Military Trail,” or “The Jetty.” Note also that much of our region is also an extension of the New York area empire. 

Southeast Florida’s unique and unusual mix of various cultures, peoples, attractions and charms, while showcased splendidly in the movies and TV shows mentioned above (and listed on this blog’s sidebar), is still rich with drama, comedy and action that has yet to be captured and capitalized on in more blockbuster ways. Even with the advent of the state of New Jersey vying for film and television attention (“Sopranos,” “Jersey Shore,” “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” etc.), not to mention aggressive New Orleans area film development (“Treme,” “Steven Segal: Lawman”, etc.), in the wake of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, Southeast Florida remains to be one of the most viable, attractive and exotic areas, outside New York and L.A., for filming movies, news and entertainment. But in order to keep all the successes we’ve had in this arena (“African Queen,” “Flipper,” “Miami Vice,” “Flight of the Navigator,” “CSI: Miami,” “Bad Boys”, etc.), while growing even more, we’ve got to stay on top of things by diversifying our offerings and keeping the allure of Florida life and lore alive. What better way to do it than to go after the lucrative action/adventure blockbuster genre of the industry? 

In conclusion of these arguments, a little known piece of trivia: Jacksonville, Florida was once the film capital of the nation. Perhaps Miami and other Southeast Florida locales can help our state reclaim its film-works throne. With blockbuster films of all kinds taking place here and showcasing our life, style and culture (real or imagined), we’ll never have to spend any more tax payer dollars than is necessary to promote our region as the premiere place in the world to live, work, study, play, relax and do business (or save the world from monsters!). We will, instead, have the luck and luxury of letting our film and entertainment industry do it for us!